251 fU$C

Well I finished my English reading, which took me forever because they used such humongous words :|. argh. After Chem, Powell from 1-5, in which I was on my phone probably 2 of those hours, dinner at 530pm with Elisa and Chris (Van, you ditcher), ACA meeting (disappointed ;-;), UCLA v. USC men's volleyball (lost, 1-3 SIGH), Birch lounge, shower, Hedrick, failreading for mythology. This siht's hella confusing.

I wanted to run but I was not feeling it. I think I've been contemplating things in life too much for my own good lately. It's this slight tinge of depression that I can't get over, and it really sucks.

I want to be happy with myself and everything that I have in life, but I'm one of those people who will ALWAYS dwell in the past. I miss you, so much, and I don't understand why. But I still want you back. Unfortunately, I have to accept reality that it isn't going to happen. I'm afraid of history repeating itself, that I'm going to lose the people I'm closest to now. I'm SO scared. I hate losing people, a lot. It's a terrible feeling. I guess the loneliness is overwhelming lately, and I don't know if I wanna say people are insensitive... but well, the things they say get too much eventually, too.

And it's so fcuking frustrating when I'm nothing but nice to people, but they still hate me or are just complete ASSHOLES to me anyways. SERIOUSLY? I didn't even do siht.. :(. It's upsetting.

blaaaaaaaaaaargh. blah :/